To me, fate means nothing more than hours of driving, bad hang overs, criminals, whores, sex, heart break, and one hell of a time. Fate for me means bad news and another town to be left in.
Who the hell is fate? What a horrible, horrible individual. Fate. Fuck Fate. I hate Fate. If I ever run into Fate I am punching them in the face with brass knuckles and then stealing the reigns. Gone would be the days of endless bar hoping and endless drunkin one night stands running our lives. Instead it would be quick, easy, and to the point.
"Hi, my name is Fate. Here is a horse, wolf, bearded dragon, millions of dollars.. and oh yea, happiness and a life of REAL true meaningful, "I will not lie, hit you, or cheat on you", love!" (Rhianna are you listening?!)
Everyone always says.. "Oh its fate!" As if they are excited to see this happiness draining piece of crap. What they really should be saying is "Shit, things are gunna get a little ugly".
If Fate is involved, it isn't gunna be rainbows and butterflies.
Everything Fate does begins and ends with heart ache.
So, whats the other option? If not Fate then who or what? Well, there is always that stupid talking snake in the apple tree? Or, there is the other no fail option,
God. Maybe if people would start listening and trusting the Big Man upstairs a little more, Fate would go the way of the Indians. Wait, I take that back, Fate has already gone the way of the indians and went and invented a place called Vegas (cue the heartache and sounds of money going down the drain).
My advice, Fuck Fate. Fuck Fate hard and fast. And when you do be sure to wear protection or else chances are you're going to end up with Herpes and an unexpected pregnancy. Once you have done that, leave without saying good bye. Then, go to church, get on your knees, and tell God your handing the reins over to him. I did, and I ended up with, for the first time, a stuffed camel, a goldfish named Lance, and no sign of that back stabbing idiot Fate anywhere to be seen.
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