...there past would still come back to haunt them

There is nothing I hate more than a past which refuses to stay in the past. The reason we move on in life and why life goes on isn't so we can have this continuous starving pigeon following us around and pooping on everything while we are trying to enjoy a good meal. Thats what seagulls at the beach are for... to follow us around and clean up our mess. Enough is enough.

 I don't try to make the right decisions and try to do the right things just to have people who aren't over their own pasts keep popping in and ruining my day. I didn't go through the last 26 years of some really terrible and crappy situations to have something so retarded ruin my happiness or what I have worked my ass off for. There is a reason they say 'put the past behind you'  and why they didn't say "ruin other peoples lives by living in the past and dwelling in it"..

If boys were dogs the past would still come back to haunt them and everyone else. No matter how hard we try to follow the straight path at some point we are going to run into a mountain lion or a rattlesnake and have two choices.. beat the shit out of it or run up a tree and hide for a while. I tend to like to beat the shit out of it but the problem is, is that a lot of the times my mountain lions and rattlesnakes play dead and then sneak back later and I am sure I am not the only one with this issue. So, I have over the years changed my tactic.

This is where learning from the past is important, for everyone. This is where you take all those lessons from all those other dirt roads and deal with it the adult way; you grow up. You build a trap, catch the snake and feed it to a mongoose. One mans trash is another mans treasure. And if that doesn't work, well, there is always death by poison.

All I am saying is, is move on...Karmas a bitch. Leave the past where it belongs, learn from it, deal with it, accept it, use it to make you a better person at the end of the day, but most importantly.. forgive and forget.

...Women would be there raw hide chew toy

What do you call an M & M who goes to school? A Smartie

Dogs are obsessed with treats. All dogs are obsessed with rawhide chews. If boys were dogs women would be their raw hide chews. We are drooled over, fought over, worn down, put on the back burner to something better and most importantly obsessed over.

You don't ask to be a chew toy but we, nonetheless, just are. We come in all shapes and sizes. Some of us are worth our money and others, well, are cheap, easy and a dime a dozen. There is nothing we can do about it. It is as it always will be. We cannot pick which category we fall into although some are going to happen regardless. At the end of the day it is what we are willing to put up with and what we are willing to go up against. Our only hope is to be the top of the line brand that leaves them obsessed, wanting more and too tough to chew up. Not the cheap o' dollar general mock leather Village Bicycle chewy buried three feet under, swallowed and then stolen by the alley mutt dog with rabies.

We are women. We are not toys. Wait, I take that back. We are women, we are fun toys when we want to be not when we are forced to be, we are strong as hell and do not under any circumstance deserve to be slobbered over (although it is confident building), put on the back burner to a plastic stuffed idiot whose only worth is to have her head chewn off and although you might bury us we will always keep you coming back wanting more.

PS. If you are a good friend you will tell your confused friend NOT to wear that hooker looking outfit to the bars. Women are not objects nor are our tits, legs, ass, calves or stomachs. Please cover up you are giving the already confused and dumb gender even less to think about and even less options for those of us on the
prowl. Thanks.

PSS The truth hurts.

..the back of a truck would be their favorite place

Trucks are awesome. You can do anything with a truck; go anywhere. I love my truck. My dogs love my truck. My family loves my truck.  But even more so, my dogs love the BACK of my truck. All I have to do is pick up my keys, give them a little jingle jangle and I have 3 happy pups waggin their tales and butts completely out of control and almost, almost losing their crazy little minds.

What is it about the back of a truck that gets us so stirred up inside even more so than a free Vegas trip strip pole included? As kids it was seen as the coolest thing ever.. to get to ride in the back. It still is. Growing up you drank in the back of trucks, watched sunsets, hooked up, tail gated at football games, made out, slept, and crammed into them. Its a no wonder dogs love to hop in and hang out with their lips, tongues and slobber flying everywhere. Its complete madness. Its the best times of our lives.

As much as I love my truck I think that Bakersfield boys love their trucks more than the rest of the world loves chocolate. Trucks were created for Bakersfield. Surprised? Start counting the next time your out driving around.. it will go something like this: truck, truck, car, truck, huge truck, car, truck, massive truck, truck, homeless person. 

In my opinion trucks are the greatest thing MAN ever came up with. For whatever reason all a guy has to do is say he drives a black F250 King Ranch and my heart and inhibitions literally are handed to him in a ribbon-just like that. Well, almost like that. Boys who drive trucks know how to have fun in my opinion. Its like a guy playing the guitar. Instant hot points.

I, unfortunately, am no different than my dogs and no different than a guy. That is why, if boys were dogs, they would still love trucks and I would still love both of them. Simple. As. That.