Dating Would Be a Walk in the Park

I was sitting with my girlfriends from work when they asked me what my worst date was. Hmm I thought.. and then I realized I had none unless you count me finding out later down the road it was just meant as a ploy to get to  my chastity belt which was irrelevant by the time I found out because I still had a great time and got a free meal out of it :0)

So anyways I took a 'pass' on that question. My friend, S, however was more then eager to belly up to the table and spill her guts. Who knew dating could be so pathetic! Guys not opening doors, talking about being addicts, chewing with their mouth open, being rude to the server, talking about no one but themselves, talking about cheating on their x's, getting hammered, being white supremos, asking to buy drugs off someone, bisexual, metro-sexual, etc., etc., etc... blah blah blah.

This all just brings me to why I cannot stand boys. MEN I can stand..the few that are left anyways.

So, DATING.. WTF is going on?? When did all the chivalry go the way of clean air and hairy men?

Here are a list of the top 10 dating mistakes.. PRINT OUT FOR REFERENCE YOU IDIOTS..

1. Showing up late
2. Dressed inappropriately
3. Poor hygiene
4. Picking a bad place
5.Too much talking and not enough listening
6. Foul language
7. Taking a phone call
8. Rudeness
9. Cheapskate
10. Poor hygiene or TOO MUCH hygiene borderline woman.

In addition, as a reference to anyone starting any kind of a dating service or in general.. here are a list of imperative questions which need to be addressed via text or email and should be added:




Question #1 should read: How much hair is on your body?
A. I am a gorilla
B. 5'o clock shadow
C. None.
If the man answers anything besides B his contract is void.

Question #2 should read: Name a type of hair gel? .. If he even answers this with anything other then C. which states 'I have no idea'.. his contract is also void.

Question #3: I am headed out the door for a date when I realize it is raining. I quickly grab a..
A. Hat
B. Coat
C. Umbrella
Again, if he does not answer C. he is void.

Question #4: Kissing on the first date is for..
A. a real man
B. When warranted because clearly we have fallen into love at first site
C. Never kiss on the first date
If he answers A his email is blocked and he will never be allowed back on.

Question #5: When I go on a date I..
A. Always pay
B. Offer to go half
C. All in favor of the women's movement say 'I'
The only right answer is A. Anything else.. ya you get the idea, he sucks.

Question #6: If I am on a date I have my phone and if it buzzes (God forbid it ring) I...
A. say excuse me and answer
B. Ignore it till she uses the restroom
C. Ignore it all together ..
If he answers A. He will immediately be given a free match.com account. Loser.

You get the idea.

Anyways..dating is supposed to be fun, relaxing, and honest. If you aren't feeling it then just excuse yourself from it. Don't make the poor guy waste his money.. unless he is being a douch-bag. Then buy the most expensive items, excuse yourself to the bathroom once they arrive and never look back :)