Santa Monica would be a dog show

On the streets of Bakerfield...

People always bash small towns, especially here in Santa Monica, and especially where I am from, Bakersfield. You know that feeling when you are at the top of a roller coaster, just barely able to see the steep decline, and your thinking to yourself "Oh Shit" ? That is the feeling I get EVERY single time someone asks me where I am from. As soon as I respond I get looks of horror, disgust, amusement, awe, sorrow, empathy, and a look a relief that I am now far away from it

 When did small towns lose all credibility? Is it because we don't have mass amounts of douche bags checking themselves out in the mirror on every corner? Is it because we don't all drive black Range Rovers and BMW's? Is it because we aren't walking around wearing $5,000 worth of clothing and jewelry at bedtime? It is horse shit if you ask me.

At least if you go to a small town the guys love to have fun in trucks, float down rivers, get dirty, drink beer that is priced correctly, and drop an F-bomb. Oh and did I mention their expectations aren't jaded by supermodels walking around everywhere. You cannot even get a guys attention in a town like Santa Monica without having at least 3 of the following from this checklist:
1. Eating Disorder
2. Supermodel/actor in training
3. Range Rover/BMW
4. Money
5. Huge tits
6. Blonde hair
7. Legs and arms that are the same size
8. Dumb as a box of toothpicks

I mean I guess if you like fucking an idiot that is full of plastic, bleach, and mush for brains then this is the place for you (and I mean both women and men in this case)! I think instead of bashing small towns they should be revered for what they offer! Beautiful natural looking girls who don't look like a duck billed platapus (see photo on left), MANLY looking guys, trucks, SUV's, $2.00 beers, and dirt.

So, if boys were dogs, Santa Monica would be a dog show and living in a small town like Bakersfield would be like going to the dog park. It takes at least 2 brain cells to figure out the obvious choice...unless of course your so sucked into the media, yourself, and superficial-ism.