...They would never need more then one master!

First off, the countdown is on..2 days left of 2009. Quite frankly I am already sprinting to 2010 because it cannot be any worse or monotonous then 2009.  Yes, I did meet some amazing friends while traveling all around the country.. and yes my dogs did get to experience what frozen paws were, and not the "pupsicles", and yes I did add 3 more colleges onto my ever growing list, but all in all... it sucked. I never got to steal the horse I wanted, although the plan is in motion, I never new about orange and black peanut M & M's, and I was screwed over once again at the last minute. Really boys it is getting old. At least give me a heads up or something before you throw boiling tar and feathers all over me; I can handle it... really. Oh and did I mention I almost lost my dad, did loose my grandma, and now I am dreading Valentines Day (but not for the hand made cards).


In a recent conversation I realized that any year I have had that I have drank my way into 2010 has been odd numbered. I mean think about it... '9', '7', '5', ..they all sound so.. boring. There is something super exciting about getting into the 'tens'! I feel a lottery win coming on, a new dog, a horse, some more of the country, more friends, Jacard?, owning my own Forever 21 with my friend Tracy, and going to Europe. Already it sounds better.. has the ball dropped yet?!


So, in reference to my "they would never need more then one master"...I have two dogs. No matter who comes over, feeds them treats, throws Lucky's ball for 3 hours, massages Bean... they always sleep with me at night. 

If boys were like dogs, it wouldn't matter how 'cute' she was, how interestingly drunk she was, how big her tits were (Tig ol' Bitties), she would never compare. 


THAT is how it should be. I am not saying girls are perfect and have never cheated on their man... this isnt about that, this is about having one master and always knowing where your yard ends and the neighbors begins. Maybe we should start installing invisible electric shock collars on them or something...maybe that would help. But why should you have to do that anyways. 

...They would beg you for more

Ah.. finally. To vent. Boys have two brains.. one is grey and eatin by Hannibal the other is a worthless pickle not even up to Vlassic standards. What ever happened to first dates, phone numbers, and the romantic chase. We have now come down to text messages, Facebook IM's and alcohol. Do people even ask someone on a date anymore?? I am serious.

I heard once that guys categorize girls into 3 categories: Girlfriend, One Night Fuck, Friend. I have decided to start categorizing in retaliation.. Edward, Jacob, Waste of my time.

I want a Jacard..yes it is what it looks like I

have combined the two. I cannot choose

and the flower frustrates me when I run out of petals and I have indecisively landed on the wrong petal. So I am combining them, crossing my fingers, and now hoping for the best. No more convicts, assholes, or cheaters.

I was told by my wise sister..who was told by her even wiser, and surprisingly male friend "Don't let them in unless they pay for it". No I am not talking about sexy time. What this means is, unless they are working for your attention..they don't deserve yours.

Dogs are a mans best friend is a saying of the past. Best friends dont let their friends cheat on their wives, fiances, and girlfriends. Best friends are good influences. How many best friends do you have? 


Dogs would never advise you to hurt someone you love and care about. Dogs are not a mans best friend... they are in deed a womans.